something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
