Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
