don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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