Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
