Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
