Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ketchup is God's man juice
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
