if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
