Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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