Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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