Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
