we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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