do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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