He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
