did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
