Dual....:-)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
