Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
tell your sister to shave her snatch
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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