Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
