Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
