You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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