is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
