Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
