Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
