Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
