i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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