Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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