Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
