do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
