I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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