OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
