if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
