so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
