I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
