I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize