We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Come on in and take your pants off
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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