my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
