remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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