Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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