Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
