Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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