Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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