I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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