Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
