a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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