You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
