11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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