The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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