fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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