She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
