I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
