I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
