First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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